Life Tip · 3 shifts · 3 min read
Use of Language
The words you use shape your mind. Three simple shifts that open you up to more possibility.
Achieving your goals requires more than a plan. It requires the right mindset, and your mindset is shaped in part by the words you use every day. Certain words signal possibility to the brain. Others signal limitation. The good news is that this is something you can change, starting with three words.
“If thought corrupts language, language can also corrupt thought.”— George Orwell
"Yes, and..."
When someone asks you something and you want to redirect or decline, try "Yes, and" instead of "Yes, but" or "No."
Your mind opens up to more possibilities when you do this. For example, if friends ask you to hang out and you are not sure you can make it, instead of saying no, you can say: "Yes, and I would love to see you. How about next week?" You stay open instead of closing the door.
The phrase "Yes, and" is used in improvisation theater for a reason. It keeps the conversation moving forward. It keeps you and the other person in a state of possibility rather than resistance.
Try This
The next time you want to say no or redirect someone, start your response with "Yes, and" instead. Notice what opens up in the conversation.
"Should"
The word "should" creates a sense of aspiration mixed with guilt. "I should eat healthier" almost always gets followed by "but I really like sweets." The word invites its own contradiction.
Instead of talking about what you should or should not do, focus on how you actually feel. Try: "I feel more alive and energized when I eat healthy." That statement is grounded in your real experience. It is about a positive feeling, not an obligation.
Words that can replace "should": I enjoy. I want to. I feel. It would be beneficial. I am choosing to. These words put you in the driver's seat.
Try This
For one day, replace every "I should" with how you actually feel. Try "I feel more energized when I..." or "I want to..." and notice the difference.
"Wonderful"
Next time someone asks how you are doing, try answering "wonderful" instead of "good" or "fine."
This sounds small. But feel the difference. "Fine" is flat. "Wonderful" carries energy. When you say it sincerely, it does something in your body and in the room.
It is not about pretending. It is about choosing a word that creates the state you want, rather than reinforcing the state you are already in.
Try This
The next time someone asks how you are doing, answer "wonderful." Say it like you mean it. Notice how it changes the moment.
Put This Into Practice
The Philosophy of Life and Values Compass maps help you understand the beliefs that drive your choices.