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February 10, 2017

The “Uncomfortable” Feeling… of Goal Setting

The “Uncomfortable” Feeling… of Goal Setting

You know that feeling in your stomach when you’re about to go to a job interview? Or maybe when you’re walking in the classroom for a big exam? Or maybe when you are about to confront the most important moment in your life (or so you think)?

This feeling takes place when we’re about to confront ourselves with something that causes us some type of fear. Is a mixture of uncertainty and not being comfortable.

So, this is kinda hard to explain because it’s a feeling that takes over your body… Your legs might shake, you might start to sweat… The pain that you feel in your stomach is something like a ball of nothing that just takes over….  Is not related to anything you’ve eaten… It’s a pain of discomfort that makes us feel uncomfortable and we are afraid to show it…

What’s this feeling?

This feeling makes us “lose” or “doubt” our self-confidence and is a great way to improve and work on our self-development. We feel it when we’re “scared” of doing something. It’s like stepping into the unknown space and not knowing if what you’re doing is right or wrong, not knowing if you will be successful or not.

You wonder if what you’re doing is the “right thing to do” and you come close to just quitting and leaving the moment… You really don’t want to go through that.

How do we deal with that feeling?

First of all, if you’ve ever felt like that, CONGRATULATIONS! You’ve put yourself in a very good situation of development. You’re human, everyone has felt that at some point in their lives…

Dealing with that feeling is about embracing it, appreciating that you are able to feel that because you’re about to step into the unknown. You’re about to take a big step in your life.

We deal with that feeling by overcoming that fear, by having confidence in yourself and in knowing that this is one more step to learn how to improve yourself.

Think about the first time you had to overcome something big – it can be anything – the birth of your first born and becoming a first time parent, your biggest exam in school, speaking in front of people… Something “out of your comfort zone”.

How did it feel when you were able to overcome these stages in your life? Do you remember the sense of accomplishment that you felt? If you weren’t able to overcome these feelings, do you wish you had another opportunity to face this “monster”?

Look, when you have this feeling of fear and anxiety, you prove to yourself that you’re taking the right steps, you’re overcoming a big challenge when it comes to your self-development. You are one step closer to reaching your goals…

Being uncomfortable is not a “bad” feeling…

The feeling of being uncomfortable is a blessing! It’s a sign that you are stepping into the world that you’re looking for. It’s a sign that goal setting is working in the right direction because you’re putting yourself out there…

Of course, after you perform the activity, you get the sensation that everything worked out and that everything that you’ve worked for has a positive outcome.

Best feeling ever!

When everything is done, the feeling of accomplishment settles in… Either you are ecstatic about your performance or you are disappointed about what you’ve done… Either way, you’ve gained something very important:

  • The best feeling of accomplishment – You might have experienced complete success! Everything went great and you were able to reach your goal. The feeling of being uncomfortable all of a sudden becomes confetti inside of you. You feel calm, excited and at the same time you have climbed the wall that you thought was never going to be possible to climb…
  • The ok! It’s done feeling… – Maybe you didn’t pass with flying colors, but guess what? You were able to get through it. You’ve learned something so valuable from this experience that will not only make this experience a positive outcome, but it will also motivate you and drive you forward.
  • You did not go forward with it – Well, in this case you can take the lessons from this situation to face your challenges and avoid feeling defeated for next time. Have the confidence in yourself that you can and will make it happen…

Everything is a great learning experience. All of the lessons that you go through have a direct effect on who you are. The feelings of being overwhelmed will pass… People will always remember the ladder that they had to climb, and they will always remember the experience. You might forget the details, but the lessons are inside of you.

So, I challenge you to accept and learn from these kind of experiences. If you had an experience that you would like to share and how you learned from feeling this way, I’d love to know… I’ll start by sharing mine:

I’ve been playing soccer my whole life, but joining a new team and not even knowing the language really scared me. I had just moved from my home country and I didn’t even know what people were saying… I really wanted to be part of the soccer team. I was only 12, but I was freaking out!!! What would they say about me? Am I good enough to play with these girls? They’re probably professionals and I might not be at their level… The thoughts that go through your head, right?

So I finally decided to let my feet do the talking. Even though I couldn’t communicate verbally with them, I found a way to learn from this experience.

This experience dictated my attitude and my mindset for the next year. Even if I couldn’t communicate through language, I found a way to speak to people – by playing, by showing with skills, by using my hands. By the 6th month I was able to finally speak the language and be a normal student. Of course, it took time to really perfect the language, but I knew that I had climbed a wall…

Joining that soccer team from that day gave me such a huge motivation to keep on moving, to keep on going and assimilate to this new culture. Since that day, I stuck with that team for another 7 years until college… All because of that first day when I was 12 years old. A little girl, who wanted to play soccer and be part of a team. A girl who was able to confront her biggest obstacles, and just go for it, because it was my goal…

What’s your story? There has to be a time when you learned something from feeling overwhelmed about a specific situation… Let’s use that as motivation to keep on going and reach your goals….

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About the author 

Miri Lenoff - Known Success

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    In 2011 i fell in love with a blind man. I met him at University of Dar es Salaam, i was a human reader and he was a student at law school. We started as friends and later fell in love. My greatest fear that time was how my family, the society i live in will perceive our relationship. To live with a disability in Tanzania is a tough task. Persons with disability are perceived as a curse, burden, beggar, unworthy, unfit.

    In 2012 i finally faced my fears, he moved in with me. 3 times a week that year we would take evening walks. My neighbors gossiped but i closed my ears. With time God started blessing us, he got a job with Action on Disability and Development International. He would be picked from home to work by car and the very people that rejected him at first turned out to be friends. Each evening as i saw him go out with friends to socialize i felt ‘yes we have broken the Babylon wall’ a social barrier.

    As i write we are not together any more. He is studying at Syracuse University – New-York. It has been hard to let go. In life its fanny how things turn out. I joined KnownSucess so as to try to focus on my goals, and now here i am developing myself. As 2017 unfolded i felt like a failure i couldn’t accomplish tasks/goals not even keep a relationship that had lasted 5 years. I felt like a looser, in the midst of that feeling some how i saw KnownSucess i don’t know how but their post was on my page i guess a friend must have shared it. A week a go i started reading articles by KnownSucess. The first article was taking the high road, and second was goal setting. To be part of KnownSuccess is so healing. It feels good, so refreshing, my bitterness and anger is slowly eroding away. Thank you Miriam so much.

    1. Dear Sifa,
      I sincerely thank you for writing this. Your story is so inspiring and yes, you never know why things work in a certain way, but now you are beginning to heal and finding your path for development. Remember you are a winner and will always be a winner, because you’re overcoming this fear, you’re overcoming those moments that you went through. You’ve come a long way in letting go of that feeling and I know that you will continue to move forward on your path for development.
      Thank you for providing a sense of inspiration for others!
      Wishing you the very best on your journey and keep us posted on your development. 🙂

  2. It was Wednesday when my pastor called aside to ask me to do word of exhortation one Sunday. I tried to resist but he encouraged me that I can do it. He said It will only take me 7 minutes to do it. So Saturday I prepared myself and Sunday morning came and I was called forward. When I stood in front of the people I begun to sweat for a minute I was mint and shaking. Later on I prayed and I did my exhortation and everyone was clapping. It felt like it was taking forever.

    1. Not familiar what the word exhortation means in this case, but by the context I’m guessing it means a word of motivation… That’s so awesome that you were able to do it! So proud of you for overcoming that fear… It’s not easy to stand in front of people and motivate people. Thanks for sharing.

  3. Fantastic! I Myriam, I’m so proud to say I’m your student. I was a person lives with a deep scare and anxiety. Since I follow your instructions and motivation steps, My mind embrace a new direction, I can say I’m starting to learn the new words of the beggest attitude that I must have to affront my fears.

    I feel very good, certainly KNOWNSUCCESS is a school.
    I thank you so much, In a couple days I’ll tell more about The change and feeling you bring in my life ….

    1. Dear Stephanie,
      Thank you for the comment. I’m so glad and so humbled to read that you’re able to change the attitude and confront your fears. I know you’re on your way to success because I can hear the passion by just reading your words. Keep moving ahead, you have what it takes to be GREAT!
      All my best

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